The Avengers! PLUS Bonus Review: John Carter

The Avengers

Starring , Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth and others. (For more info on cast crew and so on, click HERE  and Click HERE for the trailer)

So no doubt many of you have gone to see this movie already and do not need my input, but GOD BLESS YOU for reading it anyway.

The basic story is this: Loki (Thor's adopted brother from Asgard) has gained possession of the Tesseract- A cube (why is it always a cube?) made of pure energy that is self sustainable. And like always, capable of destroying the world, if Loki isn't stopped.
So now its AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!

Let me just start my review by saying, I fucking LOVED this movie!!! I laughed, I cried I applauded. I especially enjoyed that it didn't take itself too seriously. To me that makes a true bad-ass.
Speaking of bad-ass we get to see Hawk! Played by Jeremy Renner. (YUM!) I look forward to seeing his story, which I believe is the only one not made into a recent movie.

Except for bringing in a new actor to play Bruce Banner (a.k.a. The Hulk) -which was inspired by the way. Mark Ruffalo is perfect- the Avengers has stayed pretty consistent.
If you have not seen the other movies: Iron Man 1& 2, Captain America, Thor and The Hulk (starring Ed Norton NOT Eric,-I am a mannequin- Bana) you may want to wait a bit before watching. There are so many wonderful "inside jokes" in this film, you will surely be missing out.
Do yourself a favor too. Stay till the end of the credits. Is it some kind of epic teaser to the next movie? No, but it is good!

I give this movie:

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Bonus Review:
John Carter 

Starring ,Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, and others. (For more info on cast crew and so on, click HERE  and Click HERE for the trailer)

I know before I mentioned I would be reviewing movies I wanted to see. This can not always be the case, since I did NOT want to see this movie. However, this was playing as a double feature with the Avengers movie when I went to the drive-in a little over a week ago.

Based on the book, "A Princess of Mars" by Edgar Rice Burrows the first book in the Barsoom Series, The story is this: The main character: John Carter (shocker right?) is a sad soldier of the south his wife and family murdered. He's looking to be left alone, when here comes the US army to screw things up! They demand he help them when it all goes hooey and he ends up on...wait for it...Mars!
This all he relates to his nephew (Edgar Rice Burrows, oh sweet coincidence!) through a diary because, he has just died and left all his money to this kid.
As I said before I did NOT want to see this movie. The previews put me off big time. Why? Call me insane, but it was the way they kept saying John Carter all the time. I really had no interest in hearing that being said 50,000 times. But since I was watching it anyway, I decided to give it a shot. I sat there as the titles started determined to like it.
Fate had other plans.
I could not watch for more than 20 minutes. I tried so hard, but I could not take it. In the first 10 minutes I counted no less than 5 cliches and they kept piling up! I am not bashing the actors. It was not their fault. They did a good job. I blame those behind the scenes.
The screen play was a joke: The names and dialogue were beyond cheesy. The story was also a little hard to follow.
The costumes looked as if they ha been designed by a 13 year old boy obsessed with "boobies" and feathers. Not to mention how the main character looked a bit gay with that hair cut!
The special effects were okay, but that jumping business? Really? Not to mention the scenery was off for Mars. I never realized the red planet looked just like Utah!
And when it comes down to it, how that scrawny, sheltered nephew was supposed to protect anything is beyond me.
I did watch the last 30 minutes of it from a distance to where I could barely hear it, but was still not impressed.
I understand that a cross genre movie done well is awesome! (Thank you John Favreau for Cowboys and Aliens and Howard McCain for Outlander)
This was not. This was definitely a movie worth of Uwe Boll director of such epic films as Bloodrayne 1&2 and In The Name of The King. Not familiar with these movies? Consider the proverbial bullet dodged!

If you have not seen John Carter, I have 2 things to say to you. Well done! And Don't bother!

I give this movie:

Coming soon I review: Dark Shadows

I do NOT own the rights to these pictures. Check out my SOURCES page for details.

Movie Review: The Raven (2012)

Starring John Cusack, Luke Evans and others. (For more info on cast crew and so on, click HERE ) Click HERE for the trailer

The basic premise of the story is that EAP (Poe) has run out of stories, and more importantly MONEY. He now spends his time looking for his next drink, reviewing what others have written for a local paper and pissing off everyone he meets.
Detective Fields (Luke Evans) is on the trail of a serial killer and discovers that these murders are modeled after EAP's stories and enlists his help to catch the madman.
The movie begins with EAP on a bench in the park in the film's "present" and then the rest of it is a flashback leading up to him on the bench.
Despite this lame description I just gave, I was very excited to see this movie. I grew up reading different Poe stories and I have major crushes on Cusack and Evans. So my expectations were kind of high.
I was not disappointed.

It was well written and like all great movies, kept you guessing as to the killers identity. I had my theory about who that was before I saw the film, and I am happy to report, I was WRONG.
Thank goodness because I did not want it to be true.

There are various factors that lead the pair on an increasingly frustrating chase. Without giving too much away, I found the story easy to follow and was allowed little tidbits by the writers to make me feel smart enough to help solve the murder. Always a plus. In fact I usually figure it out fairly quickly, but in this case, I figured it out about 5 minutes before the reveal.
When I started this blog, I promised that I wasn't going to go all Leonard Maltin and drone on about the artsy parts. So I wont!
If you love Poe, a good mystery, romance and staring into the eyes of total hotness (yes you Cusack and Evans) then GO SEE THIS FILM!!!!

I give this movie Blu-rays out of 4

Coming Soon I Review: The Avengers








I do not own any of the images displayed on this post.

Premier Showing!

Welcome everyone to my new blog: The Movie Goddess. The title was inspired by a family nickname my husband and kids gave me because I am really good at remembering things like actors and movie dialogue.
I am still trying to figure out what exactly this blog is going to cover, but I know a few things:

1. There will be movie reviews
2. This blog will be themed after movies and related material like trivia and possibly trailers.
3. I am not some fancy critic who's going to go on rants about the films "artistic" meaning. I watch purely for entertainment!
4. Not all movies will be reviewed here. Just ones I WANT to go see
5. THIS IS NOT A CELEBRITY GOSSIP SITE!!!!!!!! Although the occasional tidbit may appear.

So, welcome again and get ready for some reviews from an average woman with a beyond average obsession with film.